Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Moving Forward While Looking Back

Hello Blog World. It's been a while. There have been so many things that have happened. So many things that I have done. So many things I have seen. But I have not had the time, or rather taken the time, to share them with you.

I am sure you have figured out by now that I have been an absent blogger due to my new job. Starting a new job is tough. I am not saying I don't love it --- there are days when I walk out of my classroom with the biggest smile on my face, because I know that a lightbulb went off. Other days, I will admit, I come home crying, frustrated with not knowing how to help a student, upset that there are not enough hours in the day to really do all of the fabulous things I would like to. For the last several weeks, I have concentrated my efforts on my work. Establishing my footing. Finding my balance. Some days are good. Some days are not so good. But every day gets a little bit easier. I just have to keep moving.

While I keep moving forward, I cannot help but look back. So far, the most difficult thing has been how much I absolutely miss my former colleagues. Some of these people weren't just my colleagues, but my friends. My best friends. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy my new colleagues (especially my new work-brother, who has welcomed me and taken me in, like...well... like a brother and my new musical non-sister sister who 'gets' that I like to belt out gangsta rap, and knows all of the same lyrics!)  I look back at where I have come from and I miss the familiarity. I miss the ease. I just flat out miss them. I miss how one of my friends would walk in the room on a Friday and yell "It's Friday!" as loud  as she could. I miss how one of my friends would do a little half walk-half run up to me to hug me every time she saw me. I miss how hard I would laugh when one of my dearest friends would make obscure movie quote references, and how either I (or no one!) would have a clue as to what she was talking about. I miss everyone giggling in the staff room. I miss how just being in the same room as some of them made me feel at home. I miss how I could glance at my best friend, and instantly, we would know exactly what the other was thinking.

There are many days when I wish I was back in my old classroom, with my old friends, doing the same old same old. The memories I made at that school, with those people, make my heart smile. I yearn for that old familiar feeling. But I also know that everything has its time. As the saying goes, the beauty of life is found in adventure, and I have found chosen a new adventure. A new adventure with new people, new places and new experiences. I love my new adventures, and I am eager to continue, but I don't see any harm in looking back and realizing (and appreciating!) how fabulous my many adventures have been so far.

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